“I hope it helps me grow…I hope it’s another step toward wonderful.”
How can I justify the continuation of a dance blog as my dance career tapers to a close? I struggle with this question every Tuesday as I try to decide whether or not to post a blog. Can I justify putting out new material? Yes. Have I been avoiding my own website? Yes..kind of (as insane as that sounds). Are my observations regarding dance of less value because my life is changing? No-not at all. But the more distanced I become from my professional performance career, the harder it is to construct thoughts on the matter. However, as the controller of this space for thought, the content does not matter. I am first and foremost a dancer, but I am also human. So here I am again – keys clicking beneath my fingers, remembering the thrill of finding words that describe just a fraction of the thoughts that flash through my head on a daily basis.
I read an article recently suggesting the selection of a word or short phrase to motivate our actions as we begin a new year. I am keeping it simple – my word is change. The past few months I think I have been running from change, avoiding it at all costs. And boy, am I good at avoiding things. So what better challenge for myself than to confront it head on in the new year?
Rather than avoiding and/or questioning life’s twists and turns, I wish to be better at accepting and embracing change. Sometimes I feel that the ups and downs are beyond my control, but I must come to terms with the fact that I can be in direct control of change. I can make it as wonderful or as miserable as I want, so why not guide it toward the wonderful?
So let’s raise a glass to the disappearance of 2016. I hate to jump on the bandwagon of those constantly condemning this past year, but it truly was a rough experience. While it was dotted with joys for me personally, there was heartache in the mix too – the death of a grandmother, the disappointment of injury, the moving on of close, dear friends, and the growing pains of my first year without a dancer contract – it’s genuinely been a battle. But it’s over, so onto the next. And what does 2017 hold for us? I have no idea. But I hope it’s new, I hope it helps me grow, and I hope it’s another step toward wonderful.