You Are Enough.

“We deny ourselves the courtesy of approval and pride all the time…There is nothing wrong with stepping back from the big picture and saying to yourself, ‘You are beautiful.’ “

The process of reminiscence can be a powerful thing. Although it frequently leads us to a point of regret and judgement, it can also be used as a way to gather strength and better understanding of oneself. As someone who is constantly looking back on what was lately, I want to take this opportunity to thank my past self for the work and progress she has helped me make…

Me long ago at one of my first summer intensive programs at Bossov Ballet Theatre. Summers here convinced me that I truly wanted to be a professional dancer.
Me long ago at one of my first summer intensive programs at Bossov Ballet Theatre. Summers here convinced me that I truly wanted to be a professional dancer.

Now I am at a bit of a standstill. As I am forced to play it safe and take care of myself physically, the stillness I feel makes me appreciate the momentum that I had more than ever before. But rarely do we take time to enjoy and reflect on our progress when everything is within our reach. We are quick to wrap ourselves up in drama and the politics of the profession, and the nagging belief that we are not good enough looms large. But while we are so busy judging ourselves by the highest standards possible, we aren’t enjoying our work and appreciating the experience. We deny ourselves the courtesy of approval and pride all the time. But why? There is nothing wrong with stepping back from the big picture and saying to yourself, “You are beautiful. You are strong. You are good enough.” Why do we always have to hear that from someone else? Why can’t we cultivate that respect for ourselves when we are most in need of it?

We have been trained that we are never enough. That there is always work to be done, progress to be made, blood, sweat, and tears that must be contributed. But when I think about how many hours I have spent crying over dance it brings tears to my eyes again – the hours I’ve spent overthinking are countless. Because I love what I do. And I care more than I can say. That passion is important, but it can also be crippling and toxic. It is essential that you know when enough is enough. You can cry all the tears in the world, and b**** and moan for days, but you’re never going to be able to change the decisions that are dictated or undo the mistakes you made along the way. It’s okay. You are enough.

“We have been trained that we are never enough…passion is important, but it can also be crippling and toxic. It is essential that you know when enough is enough.”

Me last year "Dew dropping" at a school outreach performance
Me last year “Dew dropping” at a school outreach performance

{For all, but also for myself…} Look back at every single ballet you’ve ever done. From classical ballet to modern dance. There are more than I could have ever imagined. And you have never disappointed. You are a clean, powerful dancer, and you HAVE to appreciate yourself. You are a professional dancer, a teacher, and a role model, and you are doing exactly what you set out to do. You’re here. So enjoy it. Feel something every time you move. Because there will come a day, when you can’t do it anymore. You may have to change some things in the process. But it doesn’t have to be over until you say it’s over, and you will look back on the past and finally be proud of yourself. But why not be proud right now?

It's things like this that make you proud.
It’s things like this that make you proud- “I love her because she is very beautiful.”
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